To Stitch and Not Heal

by Jared Knapik

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A sequel to 2011's "...But Her Heart Was Far," Jared's sophomore effort offers 6 tracks, pairing brutal lyricism with simple instrumentation.

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released October 8, 2013

Music written and performed by Jared Knapik
Produced by Robert Cromack & Brian Spurlock
Cover Illustration by Johnny Malavé

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Jared Knapik Granby, Connecticut

Jared Knapik is a songwriter from Northern Connecticut.

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Track Name: Not Cut
I fell in love with a girl worth waiting for but now forever has come
I was selfish, I knew this was wrong, but they say the heart wants what it wants and I thought she wanted it, too; wanted this, too.
She played along, I loved this game, but that was before I knew what I stood to lose.
Oh I was tricked; she led me on. Why do the rightest things always end up wrong? And why won't she want this, too? Want me, too.
I fell in love then I fell apart. Love has bred a broken heart. I was so foolish to think this was meant to be.
I've made mistakes but I'll never learn wanting's bad, but waiting is so much worse when what's real and your dreams have no plans to meet.
I've got a heart that breaks too goddamn easily. I need one stronger or one no one can reach.
And It seems the things I want just don't work out these days.
And it seems the things I need just always slip away.
Scissors and a shaking hand are how I got this way.
It seems I'm not cut for this these days.
Maybe this love was never meant to be. Maybe my eyes just see what no one else can see.
I've got a heart that breaks too goddamn easily.
I need one stronger, or one no one can reach.
Track Name: What's Once More?
Sleepless nights and restless hearts, sad enough's the price you pay to spend your whole life chasing one desire much too strong to fade.
And you can't help but get obsessed. You tell yourself this must be real. And nothing else could ever be, 'cause nothing else could ever feel quite as right or half as good as this girl has proved to be.
The way she settled in my chest was so much more than fine with me.
But what I didn't know was that to get her right I'd need a key. I swore I held one in my hands but it must not be the one I need.
Then suddenly a feeling grows and you know something must be wrong
'Cause nothing good has ever come from welling eyes and sighing lungs.
She said "Now this is gonna hurt. I'm sorry for the things I've done. But I know you've been here before, so I think you should be the one."
And she was right, I've known this place. But still it stings like it's the first time I let my hopes get high,
just to fall back down to earth.
Track Name: Practice Sadness
I forgot the reason why I'm still living such a life; One without a single part I like.
I had to take some time. I had to find out why all the ones I fall in love with never think it's right.
But things have gotten bad and I blame it on this curse. I thought that hiding all these scars might keep things from getting worse.
But if you always have a lie to explain the reasons why dreams always fall short, I would practice sadness.
This is it, this is the last time. It's just never worth it. As quickly as the feeling comes, it's gone. And the one to come, it's scarred me so.
But things have gotten bad and I blame it on this curse. I thought that hiding all these scars might keep things from getting worse. But if you always have a lie to keep yourself in line, eventually you'll stray without ever knowing why.
So tie my arms down and hang my heart up. Sew my eyes close and stitch my mouth shut. 'Cause the touch, the feel, the sight or sound, all could make me think about this love...and I'll never love again.
I saw a shooting star but it shot right through my sense. I've wasted my one wish. Oh it's hard to think that all along, the fight you fought so hard could all be wrong; could this have all been wrong?
But things have gotten bad and I blame it on this curse. I thought that hiding all these scars might keep things from getting worse. But if you always have a lie to keep yourself in line, eventually you'll stray without ever knowing why.
So tie my arms down and hang my heart up. Sew my eyes close and stitch my mouth shut.
'Cause I can't afford to talk about what nobody can know for now. 'Cause talking leads to love...and I'll never love again.
Track Name: Winter
I just don't get how you can find sleep now knowing what you've done
Don't you know what you've done?
You must have spun this in your head so those things that you've done don't seem that bad
Or maybe you really are sorry, but something is holding your words in your chest
But if you looked deep down, I don't think you'd sleep now, 'cause you know what you've done; You must know what you've done

But I read the signs so clearly, that I got a different meaning
But what's the sense in understanding what no one else can see?

You held me in Winter, but the cold took its toll and wore down your grip
And I don't frequent regret, but I just can't help it; I should know better, despite my best efforts, that nothing's ever meant to be (ever meant for me)

I just can't accept how some things just don't work out
and it's always the best things that are taken from me
But I should know better by now, that these questions might never have answers that I want to see

But your heart might retreat when the cold starts to bite
It takes all of your strength just to scrape off the ice
But still that may not be enough to repair the most damaged of spirits too painful to bare
And I can't say what you want me to say, 'cause what you want me to say is:
"I'll be alright, I'll be okay. I can forget and let memories fade."
But I can't forget, the memory's too great. Oh I'd rather forget, though, than keep this as weight tethering my heart and weighing on my mind,
convincing the two just to give this more time
But I gave a life's worth, and all just to wait, but time's just no use when you're dealing with fate
But I didn't know, so I kept up pursuit, and I wasted my life running circles 'round you
But never again will I make that mistake
No never again
Track Name: Quiet Mourning
My best friend is gonna die, we just got the news today.
I can't say that I'm surprised, we knew he was on his way.
Tears that have been on ice have thawed and roll down my face, and the only thing I can say..."I hate this."
So close for fifteen years, I love you with all my heart.
You have to know that now, and I hope you always did.
'Cause there were times I was away, I hope that never hurt.
But for your two remaining weeks...I won't leave.
There's a shaking in my voice that tells of severity.
So I'll brace myself and wait for this awful thing, one unsuspecting day, to arrive then be on its way.
And the wreckage left in the wake...is me.
I'll never ask for anything more if you'd only live. I know it's part of life but it's one part I'd surely give away without a second thought; a way to never miss.
I've lost love before but swore it never hurt like this.
And I'm not sure if I'm ever gonna see your face again
and if I will...when?
Track Name: Of Hand or of Our Mouths
I woke tonight, woke with such a fright when I let my mind get back to you.
I've paid price that one pays in life when one thinks that things are meant to be.
If you wait and wait, you're bound to find some things in life take more than time.
It's hard to think, "Could this be right?" But still I'll never let this go.
How could I ever let this go...
...When you fell asleep with your hand in mine? But we knew when morning came around, we'd have to keep our voices down.
"Cause we can't let this get out of hand or of our mouths. So for now, if I can, I'll keep this down.
When you feel you're forced to wave goodbye to everything you thought was right, your spirit breaks; your will to try vanishes before your eyes.
How could this be right...
...When you fell asleep with your hand in mine? But you knew when morning came around, we'd have to keep our voices down.
"Cause we can't let this get out of hand or of our mouths.
This is such a crime to veil; it's such a crime to hide.
One winter since the last, but still these feelings last and last and last.
But everyday, I turn a little more to stone when I think
"Did this mean anything to you?"
If you felt you had to lie, this was never really love. So let's call it what it is.
It's just a boy who tried and tried and tried, but God her heart was far. And far is where it stayed.
Oh I'm so sorry that I'm so lonely.
But don't ever wound what you won't ever kill,
and don't ever stitch what you won't ever heal.
But you fell asleep with your hand in mine
What did that mean?