1. |
Victoria
04:14
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Hey, nice to see you, how have you been?
It's been a lifetime, at least it feels like it has
I wanted to call you but didn't know how
I lost all my nerve when I moved to this town
Regret how we left things, no big goodbye
But you rest assured not a day goes by
Where I don't recall you were always so sweet
Holding the doors every time we would meet
And now you're a point in my past
A secret held close to the chest
You're thought of sometimes, but darling, I quickly forget
I moved from New England, had to escape
I fled down the coast to just get away
I needed a change so I packed up my life
Despite all the things that meant leaving behind
Now my hair hits the floor and my limbs taken root
It feels like a lifetime I've waited for you
Sweat soaks the sheets that I pull to my chin
As I wait every night to be haunted again
Now a piece of me always remains in the room where we met
How time has a terrible way of slipping away
You don't have to worry, your identity's safe
I've packed any signs of you tightly away
I'll take all my memories with me to the grave
I'll call you Victoria, as if that were your name
Just like that were your name
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2. |
Say It To Me Now
05:25
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I'll speak before this thing has run its course
I've got a sneaking suspicious my time is running out
And it feels like a knife buried deep in my side
And for years this knot in my stomach's been tied
So long I can't remember how this felt before at all
And it feels like I knew you long ago, how time moves fast and slow
When the hands of the clock cease to spin
When the grains in the hourglass have gone with the wind
Will you have made your peace with how we've changed?
Or is there anything at all you want to say?
Say it to me now
Maybe I was thinking of only me
I'm sure you had troubles all your own I just couldn't see myself
And it feels like a lie buried deeply inside
And at last this knot in my tongue has untied
The words are free to flow, but nothing comes to mind
And it feels like I knew you from an earlier time
And this feels like I just lost the love of my life
Soon I will be gone, and this pain struck from my life
Would you hear me just for once? Tell me that you cared
Give me a memory to take with me as I slip into that everlasting sleep
And it feels like my breath's just been taken away
And this feeling of loss I just don't think I can shake away
Away, away from here I'll stay so I will never miss again
Oh, my darling, if there's anything at all you want to say
Say it to me now
There's a sinking in my gut like Jack and Rose on a ship
And a twisting like the ending of a Shyamalan flick
I'll close my eyes and wait for this to end
There's a turning in my heart like we're in Kansas no more
And a tremor in my hands I can no longer ignore
If there's anything at all you want to say, say it to me now
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3. |
Seasons Pass
04:46
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Did you find what you were looking for?
Have you had thoughts of coming back or are you content with where you're at these days?
These are just nighttime thoughts
This is just selfish talk and I'm well aware that I should be moving on
I just can't quite keep the sunrise the dark night will soon be replaced by
In my memory, it's just so hard to see
I'll be lost until the season passes, I can't say when I loved you last is
Nothing's worse than a love outlasted by memory
I'll be better when the winter's over, but knowing you was so much colder
Sometimes I feel so much older, I'm just tired all the time
Have you heard what you've been waiting for?
All this time spent forgetting laughs and unframing photographs
You see, this is just hard to watch
And now that there's no more talk, I'm well aware that I should be moving on
I just can't bear the weight or the thought, or the way you so quickly forgot me
And all our memories, they were so much more to me
You can keep all your secrets safe
And you can run 'til you're far away
Away from all the things that kept you gone so long
I can keep all my troubles close
And we can go on like I never broke
What memories?
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4. |
Tempered Glass
04:43
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I blinked just in time to watch it all pass by
By in front of me, it's been five years since we're 23
Remember when you said to me, "In five years and we'll be 30"?
Is this how you wanted it to happen, or is this just a bad twist?
If you were going to stop, why didn't you tell me before the tempered glass, it broke my fall?
Would it have been so hard for you to warn me before my pulse was gone?
Darlin', when the ambulance came howlin'
And the color rushed back to your face
When they sat you down and told you, "He was dead, dear, long before the fall"
Now we're 29 and the years are flying by
Without much courtesy, just rushing all my memories
Remember what you said to me when I told you what you meant to me?
Standing out there in the cold, I prayed this life to go slow
You sat right next to me, still I was lightyears from your sympathy
And you could hear me scream and pretend like nothing's happening
You sat right next to me, still I was lightyears from your memory
And you could hear me scream like it's nothing for me
If you were going to stop, why didn't you tell me before the tempered glass, it broke my fall?
Would it have been so hard for you to warn me before my pulse was gone?
Darlin', when the ambulance came howlin'
And the color rushed back to your face
When they sat you down and told you, "He was dead, dear..."
When they sat you down and told you I was dead, dear, "Long before the fall"
"This was not your fault at all"
"No, this was not your fault at all"
Street lights and no one else around, just glass and metal on the ground
Dead still, your heart the only sound pounding between the rain so loud
Street lights and no one else around, just glass and metal on the ground
Dead still, no heartbeat to be found, just rain falling all around
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5. |
Time To Go
03:32
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I did this to myself, I don't know how to feel
This self-conflicted wound I don't know how to heal
You came into my life, made me care, then just checked out
No, you don't get to do that
You can't just come and go as you please
Now all I think about is time, and how much I'll let pass by
Before I say what's on my mind, until I let this feeling die
I never really knew what I meant to you
You never really let me know
Now this heart aches like I've never known one is able to
And this heart breaks at the very thought you maybe never knew
Okay if you don't wish to see me down the line
If I'm sure I've been heard, then how this ends is fine
I haven't looked at pictures in, oh, so many years
I just don't see the appeal to me re-shedding all these tears
I never will forget you, but I think it's time to go
Despite the way you cut me to the bone, you're never alone
(Despite the way you hurt me)
You're never alone
(And even if you should be)
You're never alone
(Though you always thought you would be)
You never are alone
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6. |
For Old Times' Sake
03:52
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Take your time if that's what you need to make your mind up
I've held my breath for so long, I've forgotten how to breathe
Maybe now's the year you choose
I've waited all this time for you, what's another night that I spend...
Wondering if you are wondering about this, too?
It's plagued me all these years, but somehow never bothered you
I hope to see you on the holidays but never do
Somehow, you are states away and never home on the holidays
It's hard to say where this went wrong
Did I take it off the rails, or was this thing cursed all along?
Even now, with all these years now in between
One mention of your name can take me right back where we were
And have me...
Despite all the pain, despite all this burning
Despite all these tears, and the years I spent hurting
I will always wonder where you are, and wonder how you got so far away
Was this a place for which you never cared at all?
Or maybe mine's a face that you just don't care to recall
For old times' sake, would you like to have a drink with me?
For old times' sake, baby you can have a drink then leave
Baby, you can have a drink on me then leave
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Jared Knapik Hartford, Connecticut
Jared Knapik is a songwriter from Northern Connecticut.
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